Dumb Love
by SaturnOolaa
Summary: Chouji on the subject of romance. And food. And sometimes both, at the same time. Interesting and likely weird couple, not comedy


Disc: I don't own Naruto or any characters therein. If I did... a lot more people would be getting the hugs they so desperately need. I don't own the snack foods herein, either.  
  
AN: Put your ear to the ground and you can hear the flames coming! Well, too bad. I like Chouji. And although God knows I didn't do him justice, despite the utterly pointless nature of the story, I sure tried really hard to. Because he's cool like that. And really needs a hug. For being cool. ...Um, hey, did you know that the "chou" in Chouji's name is for butterfly? Isn't that cool too?  
  
DUMB LOVE  
  
Chouji absolutely can't stand Ino's mean laugh. It's how she laughs when she talks to Haruno Sakura, or sometimes when she's making fun of him. The sound is like rubbing M&Ms against a cheese grater. The sound is like doughnut sugar that tastes too sweet and cuts up your mouth.  
  
She has a nice laugh, too, of course. That's the way she laughs when something goes right, or when they're all talking together and someone's just told a joke. It's quite, cute, a little lazy- much like their team.  
  
All things considered, it was pretty easy for him to get a crush on Shikamaru.  
  
They'd known each other for a while, with Ino, because their parents were friends. For almost all of that time Shikamaru had been the best and coolest guy he knew. He was brilliant, but he didn't show it off much, he knew how to make people feel okay about themselves when he wanted to do it, his strategic mind could well be second to none in the entire village... and he wasn't an asshole, either. Not everyone could say they had that going for them.  
  
Chouji had often though that if he were a girl he would forget about Sasuke and go for Shikamaru instead. It was beyond him, in fact, why every girl in Konoha wasn't all over him already. He wished that they were. Shikamaru should be very happy with life. At that point, other than a great deal of hero worship, that was the furthest it went.  
  
Food was the subject of all of his dreams back then. Good foods, bad foods, junk food, health food, anything that he wanted or didn't want to eat. His nights were full of it. Sometimes he sleepwalked into the kitchen and woke up covered in cheese puffs. Food was a nice, simple thing to dream about.  
  
The first time he ever dreamt a dream not involving food in any way, it was somewhat fragmented- an arm around his shoulder, someone else's smile, a brush of lips, the gleam of an earring.   
  
He woke up with his heart pounding in his ears. That morning he was a very confused young shinobi.  
  
Chouji knew what crushes and stuff were. It wasn't that he thought they were stupid or mushy, like some other guys his age, he just wasn't very concerned about anything other than food. Never before had he preferred a person so much to a package of Twinkies. It was a sudden and sort of scary experience.  
  
It wasn't like there was anyone he could talk to about it. His parents... well, you just didn't tell them that kind of thing, that was all. Ino was a great friend, and the coolest girl he knew, but... no, you couldn't tell girls things that you didn't want the whole rest of the world to hear.  
  
So there really wasn't anyone to talk to about it. He got used to it- able to just listen to him complain for a long time without saying a word, able to ignore the butterflies in his stomach whenever they touched by accident. He learnt to accept the fact that the world without Shikamaru was probably worse than the world without Coffee Crisp or Doritos or any food at all. Eventually, it became just as natural a part of life as snacks between meals.   
  
He didn't think about it much. He still doesn't. He still doesn't say anything, either.  
  
It's not because he thinks Shikamaru would hate him forever or something stupid like that. He knows his friend better than that. No matter what he said to him, Shikamaru's so great that he would manage to treat him exactly the same as always.  
  
But Ino would find out one way or another, with her huge gossiping female news network, and then they'd have to talk about it. And she would laugh at him, in her mean fake laugh. And he would feel a cheese grater on his fingertips, and sugar cuts in his mouth, and just absolutely... lousy.  
  
Besides, it wouldn't change anything. Chouji's not an idiot, he knows what he's like- and he knows how Shikamaru feels about Ino, who's really hot and quite a bit more useful. It's not pessimistic or anything. It just... wouldn't happen, that's all.  
  
It's never enough to make him stop eating or anything. But sometimes he wishes it were.  
  
END 


End file.
